This was a jounral entry I found from back in April.
Sprite, cruisers & heavy tarps.
Those three things mean nothing to everyone but for those very few that remember the surplus of sprites that some how ended up in my mini fridge at the hub or the mid night cruises that consisted of riding past speed clocks to see how fast we could go (one cruiser hit 200mph and this is no joke or exaggeration.) Getting pulled over by the cops and fingered printed for not having lights on our cruisers. But most importantly those dang heavy brown stupid tarps. For those that understood any of the three things I just talked about I hope you continue to read as I vomit my heart and what’s left in it onto this little rant/ what ever word you would like to call it. It’s no secret that never in 100 million years did in ever imagine life at this point looking the way it does. But then again who’s life really looks the way they once saw it in their head based on their current location and job? Infact I feel casting a vision for your life based on location and a career is setting yourself up for disaster. I am consistently asking God why? Not just for the event but why for practically anything. Why God? The great thing about God is that he never answers me with a piano falling from the sky or that dude that writes Jesus loves you in the sky with his plane. He simply says and takes me back to the time when me and garret sat on that bench the day my life was flipped upside down and it began to rain while the sun was still shinning bright. He takes me back to the countless conversations me and Bronson had in bama. Me and luis balling our eyes out together on the floor of fall retreat. Or the garage talk Megan had with me. My best friend and i riding our cruisers around town talking about nothing but everything at the same time. He allowed me to take trips to visit my family up in Rockford. A fall retreat that I did not want to be at to say the least but one of the few that has helped form me. One that I have never been more thankful that I was able to experience. And I could go on and on… And that is my answer to my constant “why?” Because at a young age God filled my life with leaders, not leaders, my best friend and my family. If anything now is my time to study and prepare for what is to come not hide and pout because this was what I wanted! Just as you never let your kid jump in a pool if they couldn’t swim God didn’t open and close doors without knowing that I can tread water and whatever else comes at me. I don’t think ive ever been so humbled and ready for whatever comes next for me in life. Honestly I could end up anywhere in the nation (please not texas or alaska lord!) and I know that ill be able to use my talents and take others under my wing and be there to lock arms with a team to make the name of our God famous. All this to say I’m honored to anyone that has ever taken time talk or hang out with me. Your constancy in the word and prayer has been passed down into me. The way you live everyday to make God smile when there is no reason to smile at all has been formed into me. When it’s not easy but it’s worth it. I am who I am because of all of you. Like I said this was a rant or what ever you would like to title it. If you made this far I’m honored… If you stopped reading a while ago…. Your going to hell. Clearly some others humor has became a part of me also :)
To the death.